Showing posts from November, 2017


One of the things that I found irksome about monastic life was the liturgical calendar. There were aspect I enjoyed, like learning about the saints, but there were emotional demands that I found annoying.For example, Lent is a time for reflection, penance, repentance and self denial,

The liturgical calendar is just one example of how there are social expectations that we will feel specific emotions on demand.

One of the many reasons I do not own a Television is that I do not like to be emotionally manipulated by commercials, 'news' or programs. I prefer to have authentic feelings that are generated by real people, in real situations that are part of my everyday life, I have found that reality is much more enjoyable when I do not have the influence of created / pseudo / augmented / virtual reality that often becomes a comparison and contract with the reality of my everyday life.

There is enough social pressure in the reality of daily life without the added writer generated soc…

To Succeed

I am still constantly amazed and saddened at just how many homeless there are here in Salt Lake.

When one opens up and begins to feel the burdens and the depth of needs in so many hopeless people, it feels incredibly overwhelming and desperately heartbreaking. I now find it easy to understand why so many become so disengaged - it just feels like way too much of a burden to deal with.

With 'Operation Rio Grande' underway and the subsequent arrests during phase one (well over 1200 in less than a month) 'the homeless' are becoming less visible as they spread out around the city, but they are still here and still need so much. The needs are truly profound.

I have been blessed in amazing ways since I started my Inner-City Mission and the blessings, in the form of a grand lesson started immediately.

Just after being called to serve, I received a late night phone call from the Bishop of the Ward where I serve (Big secret - I am actually the one being served). Bishop had a yo…

After the Trial....

I dreamt of old friends and times past last night and it lead me to reflect on where I am, how I got here and why I am here.

It is difficult for old friends to understand the seemly drastic changes in my heart and in my life over the past four years and there is no real way to help them understand that does not seem odd. At times, I myself wake up in the morning with a life so different from the ones I have known before, I too need a moment to remember what I have experienced that has lead me to the Salt Lake City and invoked so many drastic changes in my life.

After my baptism and as changes started to come in my daily routine and I started to spend more time in the Church, with missionaries, and in my church callings, I had less time available to do the things I had done previously. I had less time for "fun" and friends. Less time for the recovery meetings I had attended for so long and less desire for the activities that once gave me 'pleasure'. To outsiders thes…